Jean's Big Ass Blog!

Blog Entry # 12                                           What really matters.    

It doesn't matter if you're rich. It doesn't matter if people like you, think you're pretty, smart or funny. It doesn't matter if you pay your bills on time, if you have great credit or bad credit. It doesn't matter if you have a clean or messy house, a groomed or overgrown yard, the most stylish clothes, the straightest/whites teeth or the prettiest, smartest kids. It doesn't even matter if you are the greatest spouse, parent or child.

The first and most important thing that matters in this sweet, perplexing, confounded and beautiful life is being physically healthy.

Period.

Without your health, all of those other things that you thought mattered so damned much, don't really matter at all. When you don't have your health and you are faced with the possibility of dying before your time, (whatever that means because after all, "when it's your time, it's your time", right?)  you can only fully appreciate the breath you are taking each moment and the beauty that is right in front of you - whether it's the laughter of your child, the gesture of a friend or a gentle breeze. Every present moment matters most.

I have a very good friend who is fighting cancer. He's fighting with all his might. I can't imagine fighting a life threatening disease, so at times like this, I often wonder how I'd handle it. Don't you wonder that about yourself?

Would I be the kind of person who cries every waking moment? Would I be a complaining, angry whiner?

Would I be a gracious, positive good spirited fighter?

Would I ask for help when I need it?

Would I resent people who couldn't be there for me?

Would I be resentful of healthy people?

Would I talk openly about death or refuse to have that discussion?

Would I make amends with those people I've wronged or hurt?

Would those who have hurt me make amends?

Would I bargain with God?

Would I still have faith in God?

Would I ________________________________________? Fill in the blank for yourself. Ask yourself what you might do, and then make note of how you would likely handle the situation - and be honest with yourself. Then ask yourself how you'd like to handle that situation.

No one prepares us for these situations. There is no standardized course in illness, death and dying for the average person. It's probably a good thing. All that thought about illness, death and dying might make you ill!

I don't know for sure what I would do, but what I do know is that I would not worry about my big ass!  If I were very sick, I might even be grateful for my big ass - for the luxury of being fat enough to POSSESS a big ass! One girls' big ass is another one's blessing, I guess.

If I were fighting for my life, I wouldn't worry about most any of the things that occupy my mind on a daily basis. At the moment, all I can worry about are the friends who are sick and how I can be of service to them. 

It's a choice designed as much for self preservation as it is for helping preserve my friend.

Being active in his healthy future is a gift to me. It's a way of showing my love, but it's also a way to really see HIM again once the shock of seeing his illness passes. It allows me to get passed the shock and adjust to a new normal where I can see him, not just his illness. 

My friend is putting in a great fight and this fight has certainly changed him, as it would anyone.  He has managed to maintain a really upbeat attitude which has really freaked us all out just a little! No one can understand how he can be so upbeat in his condition? Who cares - it's a good thing.

He has tried traditional medicine and is now on a holistic path for treatment. It's a gutsy move, but he's a gutsy guy. 

The only way to fight a life threatening disease is to think, behave and be sure others think and behave as if you will win that fight. It means moving all of the negative out of your path. It means eating, drinking and behaving in a healthy manner and laughing as often as possible with people you love. And at times, that fight means you will "fake it til you make it" and live "as if".

So, I'll continue to take my supplements, strive to eat healthy and be grateful for the good health that I have because I know one thing for sure - without your health, you have nothing.  With your health, you can make all those other "things" a reality.

I hope you know that too. Here's to your health.